You are probably thinking, “Another angry fat lady who wants me to think she’s healthy when she's not.” I'm asking myself, “Why am I writing? What do I have to offer that hasn't already been said?” I’ve decided that I don't write for those who read this, I write for me. I write these words to remind myself that I am strong, and I am healthy. Society, however, might not agree.

I was once watching the bachelor with some friends when a commercial came on showing athletes who had won gold medals in the Olympics. When a large bodied female athlete came on screen, my friend commented, “She must have won a long time ago.” Having already read up on this female athlete, I said, “No, she won in the most recent Olympics for shot put.” This small interaction is an indicator of the stigma that today’s larger bodies are not considered athletic.

I face microaggressions like this almost weekly - whether it is a new coach at the gym asking, “Do you know how to do that movement?” in a condescending tone, or hearing friends planning a hike and joking, “Katie, you can stay at the bottom and hold our snack!”

I get dirty looks when I walk into my gym. The CrossFit photographer has avoided taking pictures of me. I had always believed that my larger body wasn’t meant to be athletic. Growing up, I was always chubby. Like most kids I tried out many different sports. Soccer was boring and I ended up talking to the goalie about nail polish the whole time. Swim team swimsuits gave me a wedgie, and softball pants gave me a rash.

At some point I gave up trying new sports and bought into the narrative that I wasn't meant to move my body - that my body was not built for exercise. Athletic bodies are small, toned, and always capable of dominating in a soccer game. That is what I believed - that only a very specific group of humans could be considered athletic. But now I know, and have proven to myself, that my doubts and the doubts of others don’t have to keep me from achieving my goals.

A year ago, my perspective started to shift. I first walked into a CrossFit gym after playing my first season of basketball on a church league. I had had such a good time playing on a team, pushing my body to work hard, that I started to look for that same feeling in my weekly exercise routine.

I was nervous to go to a CrossFit gym. I was afraid of being judged for my size, but I knew if I didn't give it a try I would regret it. That day I fell in love. I loved the way the workouts pushed me, and how strong I felt after each workout. Even now, I look at most workouts and get nervous about whether I will be able to finish them. But I still show up and do my best.

This sense of accomplishment and realization that I can do more than I think I can has changed the way I live my life. I have moved by myself, quit my job, and started graduate school - all things I never thought I would be able to do. At some point I had to choose - was I going to believe that my body was not capable, or was I going to find out what it could do?