What Does Parenting Culture Have in Common with Diet Culture?
My daughter turned two recently and I’ve been reflecting a lot on the past two years of parenting. Like most new parents, I lacked a lot of confidence because of my inexperience . I did what most parents do when I didn’t know what to do and I went to my other mom friends or the good old Internet.
There is so much information out there about how people do things – it’s information overload! And you’re not alone if you’re left with, “Wait, what should I actually be doing?”
And bring on the “ShouldStorm”!
Sometime over these past two years I read an article on patenting by Dr. Alison Escalante that coined this term, and I stuck it right on in my pocket. What is the ShouldStorm? It's what Dr. Escalante describes as “the culture of criticism that pushes perfectionistic parenting and living.”
"You should do this, you should do that, and you should definitely not do that other thing.” The “ShouldStorm” drives up anxiety – big time! Here’s a link to her TedTalk if you want to learn more.
I’ve only been parenting for 2 years and, wow there were a lot of “shoulds” that came up in that time. If you’re a parent, then you have probably heard many of the popular shoulds too…
“You should/shouldn’t sleep train your baby.”
“You should/shouldn’t breastfeed longer than a year.”
“You shouldn’t give your child sugar.”
“You shouldn’t co-sleep.”
Did you ever realize that no one really likes to be told what they "should" or "shouldn't“ do? Think about it – when was the last time someone told you should or shouldn't do something? How did you feel? Irritated? Did it make you want to do the complete opposite of what they just told you?
There is so much “shoulding” in parenting that it causes people to go down a rabbit hole of information, questioning our decisions and making us feel anxious.
And, the “ShouldStorm” doesn’t just apply to parenting. Hello #dietculture! “You should eat this, and this, and definitely, you should not eat that other thing.”
Here’s the thing – to the parents and caregivers out there – we know our babies best, just like we know our bodies best. It’s time we shush the shoulders. (Say that 10 times fast!)
No one has the right to should on you because they don’t know you or your body best. Only your Heavenly Father knows you best! And you know yourself best when you’re in touch with your own needs and when you’re in touch with the Lord…not the diet program or weight loss book or your friend who did Keto and lost a bunch of weight.
Diet culture is a giant “ShouldStorm” and it’s not helping anyone. It’s a 73 billion dollar industry that prowls on your insecurity and lack of confidence in your own body.
Just like in parenting, we can chase after the “shoulds” with our eating and allow it to become an idol in our lives, changing directions whenever the next “you should eat this” surfaces.
By following diet culture around, there’s a lot at risk, such as a sluggish metabolism, an eating disorder, and a poor body image, just to name a few. Instead, begin the journey of drowning out the “ShouldStorm” and begin listening to your body and honoring and respecting your body as is, just the way God designed it to be.
Keep your “ShouldStorm” umbrella handy at all times – the Holy Spirit! For those of you new to the Christian walk, the Holy Spirit is our helper who provides an “internal voice” of what is right and what is wrong and which way to go. Invite the Holy Spirit to cover you from cultural messages that don’t bring good fruit and guide you in parenting and self-care choices that honor Him and honor you and your family.
Want more?
Food Freedom Bible Study is now available for individuals and Registered Dietitians who want to earn CEU’s. It’s a simple, online, gospel-centered program for breaking the bondage of food, exercise and body issues.
Nicole resides in the East Bay Area where she works in private practice as a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist. She is a Mom of two and serves alongside her beloved husband in their local church. Most recently she's devoted her time to cleft and craniofacial awareness, education and interventions when her second daughter was unexpectedly diagnosed with a cleft palate at one week old. She completed both her bachelor's degree and her dietetic internship at California State University, Chico, where she was also a NCAA cross country and track athlete. Through those experiences, God prompted her to help people of all shapes and sizes discover health, body peace and acceptance through the unconditional love of Jesus. Nicole most enjoys spending time around a table and eating delicious food with the people she loves.
